Sometimes I run across a piece of writing that makes me stop and shake my head at its awesomeness. One of the most underrated writers out there is Robert Ebert, who is among the best at turning a phrase -- particularly when it comes to skewering Jay Mariotti or panning a movie he doesn't like. Check out the lede on his review of "Transformers 2." Awesome.
"Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen" is a horrible experience of unbearable length, briefly punctuated by three or four amusing moments. One of these involves a dog-like robot humping the leg of the heroine. Such are the meager joys. If you want to save yourself the ticket price, go into the kitchen, cue up a male choir singing the music of hell, and get a kid to start banging pots and pans together. Then close your eyes and use your imagination. The plot is incomprehensible. The dialog of the Autobots®, Decepticons® and Otherbots® is meaningless word flap. Their accents are Brooklyese, British and hip-hop, as befits a race from the distant stars. Their appearance looks like junkyard throw-up."
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