Walking In Wuhan

One of the highlights of my week is being in the foreign teachers' office for Wilder's office hours. Every Tuesday and Thursday afternoon, he has about 4-6 dedicated freshmen students who gather around him in a semi-circle and fire questions at him about the meanings of phrases they read or hear while watching TV shows and movies. The group is now known as "The Press Corps." So, often they ask about slang and idiomatic expressions that leave Wilder shaking his head and looking for the right way to answer, yet dodge a touchy question. For example, a few months ago a member of the press corps asked him what, "don't eat yellow snow" means. This followed:

Wilder: You know, if you go to the bathroom in the snow, it turns yellow? You shouldn't eat that.
Student A (with a thick accent): You mean, like, shit?
Student B (again, accent): Shit?
Student A (accent): Yeah, shit.

That went on for five minutes, while those of us listening in the office cracked up.

Another week, one of his students had been watching Everybody Loves Raymond. In the episode, the characters are discussing cold medicine. So one of his students asks, "Wilder, what does the phrase, 'there's no fussin' with tussin' mean?"

So, last week, one of Wilder's students came up with one of the better questions we've heard. "Wilder, what does the phrase, 'pumping ass' mean? Likely, the student actually heard, "pumping gas" but wrote down what he or she thought they heard.

This happens twice each week -- a must see if you're visiting Wuhan. I decided to take notes for 10 minutes on the kind of things asked in a typical Wilder press conference.

Among the things heard:

"What does hoo-hoo mean?"

Student: What does booty mean?
Wilder: Back when pirates used to steal things, what they stole is called booty.
Me: But Wilder, what is the more common usage today?
Wilder: Staring me down and ripping my heart out in his head. "I don't know, Mike"

"What does Biatch (or is it Beeotch?) mean?"

"What is the meaning of toodles?"

"If something is 'a drag' does that mean shit?"

I briefly left, and then returned to see Wilder trying to find out if his students were asking about former Chicago Cubs announcer Harry Carey or Hari Kari -- ritualized Japanese suicide.

Turns out they were asking about suicide.